PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
