I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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