fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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