then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
