Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
