If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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