in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
