i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
