Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
