i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
