Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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