all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
