I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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