life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
