Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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