I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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