My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize