So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
