Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I checked into jail on foursquare
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
