South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
