If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
