All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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