nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
