Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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