WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i already hear my dad disowning me
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize