Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
