i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize