Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
