At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
