Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
