3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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