The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
