So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
