I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize