Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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