anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
