if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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