I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
