she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
