Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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