Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
