Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
