what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
