thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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