did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
