How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
