ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
