The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize