Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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