im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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