Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
