I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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