Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
