Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
