So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
