i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
