got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
