Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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