I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
