There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
