it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
