Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
